Dear Abby: My wife can’t keep up with my active lifestyle and I want out

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for quite a long time, and I am seriously contemplating walking away from it. We no longer have anything in common. I’m active and hike, bike, play golf and lift weights. My wife is 100% sedentary and wants no part of any of these activities that could keep us both healthy. It has taken a toll on her to the point that she has become obese and has mobility issues. Even a small amount of exertion exhausts her, which leaves me doing almost everything. I did not sign up to be someone’s caretaker because she didn’t take care of herself.

For a long time, I have become friendly with a woman who is active and healthy like me. We have much more in common than just being active. She tells me she loves my intelligence and what a great career I had. I never received any support from my wife. I am tired of being a slave. I want a partner. Your thoughts? -- FIT IN NEW YORK

DEAR FIT: I think your marriage started failing before you met this active, health-conscious woman. As it stands, you are emotionally divorced before being legally divorced. Talk to an attorney, then tell your wife that you haven’t felt emotionally supported by her for a long time and you want a divorce so you can be with someone whose interests and lifestyle more closely align with yours. From what you have written, I doubt your marriage could be saved by counseling because, emotionally, you have already moved on.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.